One of the most complicated issues in surrogacy is the relationship between the couple and the surrogate. There are very subtle and controversial nuances here, which the parents of the baby cannot always solve directly with the surrogate, and vice versa.
What problems arise and how to deal with them or even prevent them are discussed in this article.
The 5 main “stones” in the relationship between a surrogate mother and the baby’s parents
Stone 1 – Housing.
Where will the surrogate mother live while participating in the program? And what amenities does the pregnant woman need? How can a surrogate mother not deprive herself and protect her boundaries?
Delivering Dreams offers two options:
- the surrogate mother continues to live in her former home;
- the baby’s parents rent separate housing.
This is one of the main problems we constantly face and always from different sides. Sometimes it happens that the woman in labor demands more comfortable conditions than those she is provided with and a lot of extra money. In other cases, on the contrary, the woman does not want to move out of her home, and the baby’s parents are not happy with her living conditions.
Stone 2 – Nutrition.
Everyone understands that a pregnant woman always restricts herself in her diet. It does not matter whether you give birth to your baby or act as a surrogate mother. Your nutrition during pregnancy directly affects the baby, so you need to strictly adhere to the dietitian’s recommendations here.
Of course, this does not mean that you have to eat only vegetables, fruits, porridges and forget about any chocolates – no. It will just be necessary to control it all at least a little bit. It’s not that hard!
Stone 3 – Control.
One of the biggest stones. The fact is that some parents go significantly overboard and want to control the surrogate’s every move. They may impose their companionship and presence, tracking every move.
We always try to monitor this and constantly remind women to go straight to our managers in such cases. Let us handle it! Your main concern is the safety and health of the baby. Leave the rest to us!
Stone 4 – Bad habits.
Here, of course, we are almost always on the side of the parents. We believe that this is not a debatable issue. Definitely, a surrogate mother should not smoke or abuse alcohol.
Stone 5 – Communication between the couple and the surrogate mother.
Honestly, we try to do everything we can to keep such communication to a minimum. There are several reasons for this. First of all, that is how we neutralize the “Stone #3. Secondly, after the birth of the baby the couple is not recommended to have a relationship with the surrogate, and such a breakup would be a great blow to each of the parties. Third, after the birth, we strongly advise the surrogate not to see the baby.